Signs That You've Had Too Much Of The 90's ...
- You try to enter your password on the microwave.
- You haven't played patience with real cards in
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of 3.
- You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next
to you to ask "Do you
fancy going down the pub?" and they reply "Yeah,
give me five minutes".
- You chat several times a day with a stranger from
South America, but
haven't spoken to your next door neighbour yet this
- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of
- Your reason for not staying in touch with friends
is that they do not
have e-mail addresses.
- You consider Royal Mail painfully slow or call it
- Your idea of being organised is multiple coloured
- You hear most of your jokes via email instead of
- When you go home after a long day at work you
still answer the phone
a business manner.
- When you make phone calls from home, you
accidentally insert a "9" to
get an outside line.
- You've sat at the same desk for four years and
worked for three
- Your company welcome sign is attached with
- Your CV is on a diskette in your pocket.
- You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise.
- You learn about your redundancy on the 9 o'clock
- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you
lose all your best
- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do
- Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are
more likely to get
- Board members salaries are higher than all the
Third World countries
annual budgets combined.
- It's dark when you drive to and from work, even
in the summer.
- You know exactly how many days you've got left
until you retire.
- Interviewees, despite not having the relevant
experience, terminate the interview when told of the
- You see a good looking, smart person and you
know it must be a
- Free food left over from meetings is your staple
- The work experience person gets a brand-new
all the features, while you have time to go for
lunch whilst yours powers
- Being sick is defined as you can't walk or
you're in hospital.
- You're already late on the assignment you just
- There's no money in the budget for the five
permanent staff your
department is short of, but they can afford four
management consultants advising your boss's boss on
- Your boss's favourite lines are: When you've got
a few minutes...
Could you fit this in...?...in your spare
time...when you're freed up I
you're busy but...I have an opportunity for you
- Holiday is something you roll over to next year.
- Every week another brown collection envelope
comes round because
someone you didn't know had started is leaving.
- You wonder who's going to be left to put into
- Your relatives and family describe your job as
"works with computers".
- But at least they don't say you work in I.T.
- The only reason you recognise your kids is
because their pictures are
- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
- You read this entire list, kept nodding and
- As you read this list, you think about
forwarding it to your "mates
send jokes to" e-mail group.
- It crosses your mind that your jokes group may
have seen this list
already, but you can't be bothered to check so you
forward it anyway.