Computer virusesLewinsky Virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after two bytes.
Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus: Deletes all old files.
Ellen Degeneres Virus: Disks can no longer be inserted.
Titanic Virus (A Strain Of The Lewinsky Virus): Your whole computer goes down.
Disney Virus: Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
Prozac Virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
Joey Buttafuoco Virus: Only attacks minor files.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be baaack.
Lorena Bobbit Virus: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy then discards it through Windows.
Viagra Virus: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
Clinton Virus: Gives you a 7 inch hard drive with no memory.